Loving “The Beloved” as “The Other”
Matthew 22:36-39
5/3/2026
“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:36-39)
Have you ever felt that it was hard to love someone that you are close to? Or maybe you just can’t help feeling upset or disappointed with them? Oftentimes, it is hard to love others as Jesus commanded us to.
Thinking about ourselves and thinking about other people use two adjacent areas in the prefrontal cortex (located at the front of the brain). However, when we become very close to someone, thinking about that person activates a brain region closer to the one we use when thinking about ourselves. This occurs because, as they become closer to us, our brains start to see them as an extension of ourselves, or as someone we think about the same way we think about ourselves. Then, this means that, just as we naturally try to control our thoughts and actions, we also unknowingly try to control the people closest to us in the same way because we see them as connected to ourselves. And that is why we often have many relationship issues with people that we are close to.
Isaiah 64:8 tells us that we are like clay and that God is our potter who formed us with his hands. Ephesians 2:10 similarly calls us God’s “poiēma” (meaning “poem” in Greek), emphasizing that God has carefully and intentionally made each of us. When we fail to recognize this and try to mold other people to our liking, we overstep God’s boundaries. So, what can we do to love others as ourselves without controlling or shaping them to our liking?
Healthy communication. Because our brains unconsciously see our close friends and family as extensions of ourselves, we often assume they already understand our thoughts and feelings, neglecting the importance of clear communication. Therefore, we should maintain open communication to avoid conflicts with one another.
Create a healthy boundary. Again, when we are intimate with one another, we often unconsciously fail to set certain boundaries, treating them as we do ourselves. So, if they set a boundary, we should respect that boundary the same way we should respect them as God’s masterpiece.
Discussion Questions:
Is there anyone in your life whom you are close to that you believe is hard to love due to your differences? What are some practical ways you can establish healthy communication/boundaries with them to love them as Jesus commanded us to?
How does recognizing other people as God’s “poiēma” (poems) change the way you see or interact with them?
